Side Chick

Your ultimate guide to being a side chick

You go, girl. You're wel within your rights to experience the Joie de vivre of being a side piece. Journalism and television may write you off as a bitch, but you know better. Nothing beats the rush of being the other girlfriend. Carrying on a secret affair with another woman, or falling for a man whose relationship with his wife is on the rocks is how you like to live.

Everything about becoming a sidechick (meaning, being someone's secret girlfriend while their primary person is in the dark) rules. You may not spend all day at home making love to your beau on Valentine's Day, but it doesn't matter. Being a mistress and fueling forbidden desire is exactly how you want to snag your next man or woman. On your quest, just keep these four steps in mind...

Step one: get clear

Here's the thing, girl: when it comes to sex, anything goes. Nowhere is that more true than when you're a side chick: meaning, you have the power to set the terms of your play. No one, not even your partner, can dictate what you deserve as a side chick - because if your terms aren't honored, your lover knows you could reach out to their wife, main chick, or husband and tell them every dirty detail.

Since you hold the keys to drama in your hands, you're in the front seat, babe. What is it you want from being a side chick? Quotes for a new car, money, and a sugar daddy? A deep connection with a woman who's never kissed women before, having a sexual revolution under her husband's nose? Or something in between, where you meet someone in a neutral place to talk about art after sex, but never have to see their dog or six siblings or support each other?

Whatever it is, get real with yourself and answer any lingering questions. Being a side chick is only a good mode of being when you've had that tough conversation with yourself.

Step two: find the perfect person

Now that you know what you want, go on the prowl. Weigh your options. If you've had your eye on a particular married man in the office and want to do more than get his phone number from the group chat, your next steps will look different than for finding a random dude to hook up with.

If your eyes are on a coworker, then girl, you like stuff spicy! Regardless, all relationships that end in bed start one way: talking. Gab about the news, hone your opinion on European male football leagues. As you build these relationships, look for signs. Do they give you more attention at a business lunch than they do others, or share secret cookies with you in the break room?

This either means they want to be friends, or they're looking for something deeper. One telltale sign? The presence (or absence) of red flags in their relationship. If they have kids, do they mention them? Does your work crush come back from weekends filled with affection for their spouse, and keep finding ways to name drop them? If so, access denied - you'd better set your sights on another office character.

But The face of this passion looks different for everyone, but boy, commitment issues sure play a role. Sometimes, even the best, family-oriented guys and women stray when given a chance. Use those issues to your advantage. It makes a big difference if your crush doesn't text their partner at work and uses every possible reason to stay late with you. Give them an idea about your intentions, but go slow. Flirt and make extra eye contact, and then one day - make that move.

Your status as friends is on the line - but it's worth it. After all, finding peace and bliss on earth takes risk, right?

For readers who have no interest in an office romance, and just want to meet a new cutie in your city, I only have two words for you: Ashley Madison. This site has a motto perfect for times like these: life is short, have an affair. Sign onto this website with a throwaway email, give minimal personal information, and you're in - the affair is just around the corner.

Step three: be discreet

In order to be a good side chick, keep it on the DL. Part of the fun is in the thrill of secrecy - and nothing is a bigger rush than hearing your partner stress on the phone as they invent excuses for their main chick.

Nobody can know what you're up to - so keep it off the internet. When you care about this secret partner of your dreams, it's natural to want to flaunt them through Facebook updates and Instagram content. But the fact is, you're in a privileged position. A lot of men and ladies do this, breaking the trust between themselves and their new boo. Your guy can only hope you'll keep the nature of your affair off your Twitter posts. Social media isn't your friend, and your actions have consequences. Do everything you can to keep people from catching on and telling the wife of your new man.

Step four: have fun!

As a side chick, you're forging a new path, and things will never be the same. Whether you're looking for good stories to dish with other side chicks, meaning in a forbidden relationship, or just another female body to love on, the best lover of your life is out there waiting for you.