Whether you're new to the swinger lifestyle or attending your hundredth party, there's always more to learn. When looking for venues where a woman can meet a guy (or hey, men's wives) for a good time, there's a thing or two a girl has gotta do before exploring steamy relationships at a swinger party.
If you go into some swinging lifestyles' block party without establishing plenty of tips and guidelines for a smooth night, it won't be long before the MD starts trying to resuscitate your floundering love affair.
Every couple attending a swinger party has to lay the groundwork with each other before ever hitting the scene. You two may have different ideas about what's off-limits while playing with men and women at a party. One of you may be hoping for parties full of flirting, while the other is fantasizing about a party with a gloryhole - so get clear.
Before any party, make sure you've sat down and had multiple conversations about every activity that might unfold at a sex party. Omit nothing, address your boundaries, and ask questions about your partner's. Choose a boundary and then stick to it. Is it okay to twerk on someone else at the party? Do you both want a full swap? Are you going to just drink in the corner while being a pair of frisky voyeurs? Decide together before stepping foot in a party.
Many couples also keep exit plans in their pocket, in case there's a point where a partner's had too many drinks, needs to rest, or for any reason has to pause all activities. Code words thrive here, especially ones that you and your partner won't accidentally use in a setting like a swinger party. Find non-inflammatory phrases to use as code like, 'Want to buy those cookies on the way home?' When you say this to your partner during a party, you'll both know that you need to talk to each other in private, tucked away from the party.
Stop the drama before the MD starts trying to bring your relationship back from the dead. Talk about the swingers' life style, set the terms - and at all costs, stick to them.
Before you make that ticket purchase and hit up some denim rooftop party, learn how to respect every person's boundaries. This means that you need to learn the language of consent, and take a genuine interest in treating every member or couple at the party with the same respect you'd give your best friend.
Although everyone in the room signed up for a swingers' party, don't think that it's a free-for-all. People aren't interested in all types of pleasure, and how you plan events to unfold may not line up with how others see the party going - and that's okay.
Nobody is there for solely your purposes - and acting like that's the case is one sure way to get steam rolled with the word 'BANNED' across your forehead. You have no excuse, so read up. Find the latest information on consent by using the Technologies that Be to watch videos and learn about it through any format or website that you like.
I'll level with you - many people at group sex settings push boundaries - and it's not okay. When there's alcohol in the mix, bar yourself from canoodling with someone at the party who's had more shots than food. Check in, be a good person - don't be Brock Turner.
If someone seems too intoxicated to consent, lace up those big kid undies and find the host. Groups like these are a community, and it's other guests' job to look out for each other. The host will help you reunite the drunk person with the partner, friends, or sorority sisters they arrived with, or put then in a safe space to sober up. This act of service will ensure you're invited to the host's next event. And don't worry. A unicorn will be at the party - and they'll be sober enough to consent.
Good etiquette goes beyond the bare minimum of consent - it's about respect, too. You don't have to treat the party like prom and share Rockii peony bouquets with hookups, but before you make that ticket purchase, it's a fact that you should know how to give others the respect they deserve as human beings.
For starters, think about how you talk to people. Lingo like 'prostitutes' is dated and offensive, and guests know the difference between potential partners who are kind and GGG, and those who are only there to satisfy their own desires. Likewise, 'males' - listen up: unless it's part of a shared kink, never call women 'females.' You sound like a buffoon who couldn't find the clit to save his life.
Finally, bring protection. A smart lover is one who brings condoms to the party. You don't want to be getting hot and heavy with someone and end up having to leave it at 'I'll share flannel with you if you're cold' instead of having sex, all because you were too shy to bring protection to the party. Life's short, play smart. End of story.
No two swinger parties are exactly alike. You may find that an all-night party bus that leads you to the DMV Day Party (all rights reserved) in Silver Spring, MD is up your alley, or you may love the idea of a quiet dinner party that gradually dissolves into an orgy with a small number of cute guys and girls.
Both are a valid type of party, but it boils down to a matter of atmosphere. If you and your spouse are going to a party together, decide what kind of location and environment titillates you both the most.
Curiosity is a blessing here. Do your homework and research each event before signup. Get a feel for the clubs or venues. What's the vibe? What comments are on the event posts? Each case is unique, but it helps to browse a site like EventBrite (or any similar app) for the different swinger party events in your area. Go through the whole collection of parties people are hosting, and filter by event preferences, cost/currency, time, or start over with a clear search, search page/content filters, check the page-load map, navigation with autocomplete, and more. The more people know about local parties, the more educated their decisions can be when choosing between a dinner party or another style of membership-based event.
If you're on a budget, read the fine print! Some parties with themes like 'For the Love of Free Sun' cost $100.00-$249.00 just for bottomless rosé; a ticket to a party like that in MD starts at around a grand. But for ones hosts set up in their own homes, a grille, or fringe hotels? You can roll up for $75.00, $20.00, $15.00, or even just $5.00. A casual event may not have people decked out in their finest grunge or Bowie theme gear, but you can save flannel (and dollars) when you throw your email into a group ring that hosts casual parties Thu through Fri, free of charge.
The perfect party for you depends on your mood, your budget, and the order of business you're hungry for.
You'll have a better time at your next swingers' party if you understand the international swing culture. For the love of everything holy, the experience is a million times more invigorating when you know how people around the world do it. Why? Because knowing the different kinds of excitement singles and couples get up to broadens your notion of play.
The best place to look for party inspo in the United States is Washington, DC. From a recurring swinger karaoke party at Recessions on L Rd NW, to the thousand-dollar swingers' club DMV Day Party in Silver Spring, MD starts the night off right there, and the whole DC area (out to Baltimore) has its fair share of events and swinger parties. Why the community is so prolific, I couldn't say, save 'karaoke party with friends in the swinging lifestyle' sounds like a lot of fun that the rest of the country's missing out on.
But the east coast isn't the only place people play with the swingers' lifestyle in many a block party, art gallery viewing, or glorious health club party. Instead, people all over the globe relish it. Find a swinger party in Ireland, Italia, México, Nederland, New Zealand, Hong Kong, across Central America, Canada, France, Finland, Columbia, and even cruise ships around the world. The more you know about the culture, the better you can understand what you want out of your own swinger party lifestyle.
Save day dream content for boring days - research the international swinger lifestyles by researching swinger forums and Subreddits to connect with members and learn a little something about how people get down worldwide.
Whether you're after a party bus or all-night party in denim (rooftop dancing and all), the time to party is now. While a swinger party is the land of anything goes, couples and solo party-goers should keep all these things in mind if they want their fantasies to become realities.
But act while you can - help SaveOurStages preserve the spiciest venues being battered by COVID. Leave good reviews, add a banner to your Twitter feed, or even donate money so they can stay afloat (hey, even $1.7 helps).
From Papermoon Springfield to Republic Garden in DC (which sets neighboring VA free), the movement is unfolding. Grab your boyfriend or girlfriend and get the conversation going, then get in on the sizzling action. While MD starts the party around the country, there's an opportunity to get it on from Rural FR to Lima, Peru. All you gotta do is start looking.